I don't have a single picture of her, but I'm not sure I'll ever forget her.
She grew up in our church, her parents having met in the choir in the late 1800s. She lived just off Connecticut Avenue for her entire life, first in the family home she sold some ten years ago and then in a retirement community. She's the only older member I've ever brought a can of Heineken to, sneaking it into the home like a high school student with a fake ID. More often than not, I would find her with the Wall Street Journal and a stack of lottery tickets she had recently scratched. She loved taking a cab over to a nearby hospital where she would listen to music playing in the lobby. She was proud of the outdoor furniture she had bought for the home and furious when all the chairs were taken, leaving her with the option of finding a place to sit inside. She loved her church, though she hadn't been there in more than ten years.
And, I loved her. I always knew she would make me laugh. I always knew I'd be greeted with a generous smile. I always knew she would encourage me by letting me know how she was aware of everything happening at the church since she read the bulletin each week. And, I always knew she would ask me to pray for a sound mind. She was so afraid of losing her mind before her body failed.
Two weeks ago, Nancy's health started to change in different ways. Part of her dignity was removed when her body no longer allowed her to do everything she needed to do. She was so frustrated, but still making her aide and I laugh through it all. It was nearly two weeks ago when she told me she wanted to just go to sleep. "I'm ready to go," she repeated often on each of my last three visits.
She said it again yesterday, waking up for just a minute or two at a time. And even though she didn't speak much yesterday, her sense of humor came shining through once more in her facial expressions.
At the end of my visit, we took hands, her aide holding one hand and me holding the other. We asked God to linger close, to remind Nancy that it was okay to let go and that she was not and would not be alone. When the prayer was over, Nancy said, "Amen." She was with us the entire time.
She took her last breath this morning. Her prayer was answered. My heart both aches and gives thanks at the same time.
And now we plan her celebration of life. There will be party favors - a scratch ticket will be given to each person who attends, with a quarter to make the scratching easy. Perhaps someone will win. But I feel like I already won so much through my relationship with this precious child of God.
Thank you, Nancy, for the privilege of being your pastor. You were truly one of a kind. May you rest in peace and rise in glory.
Thanks be to God.